I can't make you choose
by XxStarxGazerxX
Summary: I can't make you choose. And I can never be enough. character death. I am continuing this story. i hope u like it. rewrite!
1. Breathing

A/N: ok this is angsty. depressing. id never do this if it wasnt for an earlier story i read.

KAORU POV

" Kaoru..." I head someone whisper into my ear. I awoke to find Hikaru next to me, arm draped around my shoulders.

" Let me go." Hikaru pouted, obviously wanting an answer.

"I want to take a walk out in the gardens." We were at school an hour after the host club ended. Everyone was still here; this was a second home to us.

But I was suffocating.

I couldn't breathe in the room that had taught me to seduce countless girls, to push my elder half to other things.

Where I met Haruhi.

An innocent girl, overly trusting and analytical as she was, I found myself highly amused as Hikaru deemed her "our toy"

We always shared everything, even a bed.

Even haruhi.

Flashback

" Haruhi is our toy, Kaoru. Nothing more. I was meant and made for you."

"Really?" I asked, my vioce sweet and venomous towards the girl we were talking about.

He didn't answer.

But I didn't need to hear how he loved her. I heard enough of it behind closed doors, now that we had moved farther apart, it seemed only logical for me to get another room.

The thoughts sickened me.

" Hikaru just... let me go!" I yelled the last part, desperate in my attempt to leave; I could feel the tears start up, and Hikaru wouldn't get it.

He never did.

I ran from the room.

From the curious eyes of my friends, all who I cherished. All who I considered close.

All who chose Hikaru over me.

But wasn't that all my fault? I had pushed Hikaru to become a man. I had led him to haruhi. I knew what was giong to happen to him..

To me.

I knew that i'd shatter into millions of irreplaceable pieces. Just like that vase, just like Haruhi, I was paying for it.

My only reward was mixed with the acid in my mouth. In order ofr everyone's happiness, something had to give.

Something, or rather, someone;

had to break.

I ran until I was at the place where Tamaki had dragged haruhi to hide in; where we first fought over who Haruhi belonged to.

Hikaru.

Who Hikaru belonged to.

and you can't have two owners. even a lowly animal can understand that.

So why couldn't I?

Why was I shaking with uncontrollable tears, my mind all a blur?

I knew why, but my mind refused to make sense of it. To acknowledge it.

I've been doing that a lot lately.

I was making Hikaru choose.

And I knew who he'd ultimately choose out of guilt. Out of shame.

I wanted love at any cost form him, but not in pain. Not stained in regrett.

And it all suddenly became clear. So suddenly that the tears that choked my throat stopped.

And I could breathe.

I smiled, remembering mother's words:

"A finalle comes only once. go out with a bang!"

And with such a force it should.

Hikaru was never much for the flashy things.

XOXO

Dear host members and fans,

Please come meet Kaoru at the top of the Ouran high school. 3pm sharp.

There will be fun, merriment and a grand finalle one won't soon forget.

There will be tears.

lovingly,

Kaoru Hiitachin.

xoxo

XOXOXO

At the party:

" Hikaru..." Tamaki whined. Hikaru sighed. this was the thrid time Tono had asked,

"What is your twin planning/ what does he mean by: there will be tears? and what grand finalle? Is he quiting the host club?" Tamaki said, worried now. Hikaru shrugged out of his embrace of unnessesary pity.

" No, no and no! and I dunno! just wait for the finalle, Tono-baka." Tamaki pouted, but stopped when Haruhi nodded sternly. Suddenly a vioce called out and asked for Haruhi and Hikaru to step onto a platform on the room, made specifically for the party.

" Haruhi-can... I want you to know that I love you. I also hate you. But I'm not willing to let Hikaru get hurt."

Hikaru looked bewildred as I talked, obvouisly in some sort of daze. I was in the center of the platform. Hikaru had invited Renge to record the moments of this party, this one especially, though he didn;t know why Kaoru had told him to do it.

" I love you all, my dear audience and friends. I don't hate you for liking Hikaru over me. I don't blame Hikaru for liking Haruhi,and Haruhi the same. Well, maybe a little."

Kaoru looked at me, perpplexed, his golden eyes becoming distressed as he thought of what I was saying.

" Hikaru I love you." The usual swoons and giggles errupted form the room. I sighed, pissed now.

" I don't mean in the host club way. I mean I want you by my side forever. Not with haruhi. I've never been good at sharing. Especially not my favorite things."

Hikaru looked pained,

" K-Kaoru..."

" Don't say it, please!" I cried, tears falling freely onto the ground.

" I know you'd be happier with her. With Haruhi. You're going to become anb only child soon enough." Hikaru didn't understand.

" Are you getting plastic sugery?" He chuckled nervously, on the verge of tears, or yelling. "Are you removing the Hiitachin name of of you?"

" Tell me, damnit!" Hikaru yelled.

I sighed.

" I'm not going to make you choose between your brother or Haruhi. From that day I asked if Haruhi was just a toy so long ago, I knew you'd never be able to choose between us."

" I'm not giong to make you choose anymore, Hikaru."

And suddenly Hikaru noticed; how I was too close to the ledge, too close to the empty air below him.

" Kaoru!" Hikaru yelled. Renge laughed nervously, looking for some sort of trampoline, camera in hand.

All that was left were the bloddied remains of the only other Hiitachin twin. Renge crumpled to the floor, followed by the rest of the crowd and people onstage.

Kaoru was right.

There were tears.

A/N: im not suicidal, for u ppl wondering this... I love life, anbd this was interesting to write. review plz!


	2. It could have worked

HIKARU POV

The sky is murky grey. The clouds stir with an unease equal to that painted on the faces of those present at the funeral. It's raining; small drops in a light drizzle. Our faces are grim. I can feel everyone glancing at me; trying to see if I hold the same insanity my brother did. My eyes have many circles under them. I never could sleep well; Kaoru always helped me fall asleep. Without him; it's as if somebody closed a door; turned off a light.

And I...

Can't find a way out.

Those in the Host club are silent. Hunny is sobbing quietly; clinging to Takashi. Usa and Tamaki's bear are dressed for the occasion; Usa slightly more grey somehow. Trick of the light or more?

Kyouya and Tamaki are near the entrance; trying to calm down the swarm of girls bringing in flowers and love notes. Kyouya's men take the flowers and adorn the casket with them.

I hear a gentle voice by my side.

" If they give us any more flowers; I don't know what we'll do with them." Tamaki says in a quiet manner; eyes slightly glinting from his small joke. A sorry attempt to get my spirits up.

I dont take the bait.

" We can let them burn in the furnace. I heard they had a place for that here." Tamaki sighs and puts his arm around my shoulder.

" It's a shock for Haruhi; how he said that to her." Truly it was; Haruhi was hospitalized a few days after the incident. After all; it must've been a hard blow to be the cause of someone's death. I knew that personally; and it cut me more deeply than anyone else. But I couldn't feel anything. It was all grey. And it pissed me off in a way that couldn't be said with words.

"Yes it was. But what could you expect? She was so fragile anyway; with a dead mother and all. Kaoru gave her the final push when he died. And I don't know where that puts me." I knew there was a deep wound inside me at that instant; But something wouldnt let me feel it.

At least not yet. It was only a matter of time before my mind would let the wound be immersed in acid; brining its immense pain to the surface. Would I be able to live through it?

I wouldn't know. And right now it was almost a comfort.

Tamaki sighed.

looking towards the sky; i didnt notice kyouya; at my other side suddenly.

" The rain cleanses the earth. Let your tears do the same."

Hunny and takashi were in front of me; making us a closed circle; a circle wracked with pain and discomfort.

" I'm fi-" At the instant I tried to finish that sentence; Karu's favorite song began to play; silencing us all.

_Kazesasou kokage ni utsubusete naiteru_

_Mi mo shiranu watashi wo watashi ga miteita_

_Yuku hito no shirabe wo kanaderu GITAARA _

_Konu hito no nageki ni hoshi ha ochite..._

I felt my eyes moisten with the onslaught of tears.

_Yukanaide, donna ni sakende mo_

_ORENJI no hanabira shizuka ni yureru dake_

_Yawarakana hitai ni nokosareta_

_Te no hira no kioku haruka_

_Tokoshie no sayonara tsuma hiku_

_" I-"_

_Yasashii te ni sugaru kodomo no kokoro wo_

_Moesakaru kuruma ha furiharai susumu _

_Yuku hito no nageki wo kanadete GITAARA_

_Mune no ito hageshiku kakinarashite_

All around; I began to hear the quiet sobbing of our classmates.

_Aa kanashimi ni somaranai shirosa de_

_ORENJI no hanabira yureteta natsu no kage ni_

_Yawarakana hitai wo nakushite mo_

_Akaku someta suna haruka koete yuku_

_Sayonara no RIZUMUO_

I swallow; give myself up to the shoulder that awaits me.

"Kaoru.."

_moide wo yakitsukushite susumu daichi ni_

_Natsukashiku me fuite yuku mono ga aru no_

"Date, Kaoru?! Baka!"

_Akatsuki no kuruma wo miokutte_

_ ORENJI no hanabira yureteru ima mo dokoka_

_ Itsuka mita yasurakana yoake wo_

_ Mou ichido te ni suru made_

_ Kesanaide tomoshibi_

_ Kuruma ha mawaru yo_

**It could have worked. it could.**

**A/N:**ya wanna know what the song is right? well i watched an amv on youtube... and it was for elfen lied and the song was "Akatsuki No Kuruma"

here is the lyrics in english:

.

here is the youtrube video i got it from:

.com/watch?v=rce-FUbmrl4


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